Year 2, Days 31-34 – Julia

I’ve had a bit of a block on this blog, for reasons I don’t entirely understand.  I absolutely nailed my degree, despite not being certain five months ago whether I would be permitted to graduate or sit my exams. I finished my patient numbers the day my colleagues finished, despite starting 7 months late. And then I drank lots of tequila with friends, and moved out of my flat, and came back home to Swansea to plan the next phase. And then, on the planning front, I came completely unstuck.  So, despite having a bajillion things to be grateful for, I’m having a bit of a slump.  I’ll keep it simple, therefore, and say that I’m glad I had time to sort out some of the next steps in the new garden I’m building, and I’m glad I am reading a fun book. I’m about 5 years behind on novels, and despite starting with a trashy crime novel I quickly put that down. I’m now half-way through The Bonesetter’s Daughter, which I bought 6 hours ago for the princely sum of 33 pence.   It was wonderful to sit in the garden with a book tonight, looking at other things which grow and change.  I think I was preparing to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting about whether there’s work for me at the university I just graduated from, whether I can publish my dissertation, and what I should do with myself.   Immersing myself in a garden and a book for a few hours has given me enough space to get over my slump and, finally, get on with the planning and the proof-reading and the CV.






4 thoughts on “Year 2, Days 31-34 – Julia

  1. Let yourself breathe a bit, chicken. As you’ve said, it’s been a long time coming, this degree and this completion and to be at the point so many times where it looked like it wasn’t going to happen… Well, mere mortals are often stunned in the face of such circumstances. I’m guessing you had psyched yourself up for it *not* happening. (Your story reminds me of when I found out, after an almost 5-month ordeal that I *didn’t* have cancer. I had prepped myself well for the worst possible outcome that I was not particularly relieved at first, just stunned.)

  2. What Cynthia said. There’s something about finally getting the thing you’ve been working at that is inevitably kind of anticlimactic, and I think that’s mostly because of overwhelmed exhaustion. And look at all the change you’ve had! No doubt you are grateful, but it’s ok not to verbalize it daily (says the one who posts bi-daily).

  3. Thank you for your kind words, and I’m sorry you’ve both had to be here too – although doing good and interesting things kind of sets us up for these things… Turns out I’m having a career-shaped panic attack, and I’m getting over it now that I’ve worked out what it is. xxj

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